So this post is a semi-personal one. Here it goes. In less than three weeks, I will be traveling to Nicaragua for a week.
I was born and raised there until I was 9. I came to United States in December of 2003- it was also the first time I ever saw snow. Now that I’ve become a resident (a process that took too long- can’t even get into it) I am able to travel outside of the United States. And the first place I will be going is my home country.
I have been waiting for this day for years. I can even remember talking to my grandma on the phone several times and telling her that I would be there soon. This is a major life event and I can’t believe it’s finally happening. The day I always imagined and it’s almost here. I will be visiting with my husband and staying in various areas of the country. Honestly I don’t think it has hit me yet that I will be visiting my childhood home, my old school and my extended family.
Growing up here I learned a new language and engaged in a whole new culture. I’ve experienced many major life events and have met so many wonderful people. And I consider myself an American, but I always wonder about how life would have been. I don’t think life would have been better. My parents came to the US for a better life. Nicaragua is the 2nd poorest country in the western hemisphere, so real opportunity there is scarce.
But I wonder about how different my teenage years would have been or if I would have gone to college. It’s always the “what ifs” that get me. I have a tendency to imagine everything before it even happens, so many different scenarios have gone through my mind. I think my imagination never allowed me to let go- which is good and bad.
Good because I never forgot where I was from and bad because it was unnecessarily painful at times. Of course, I am thankful to my parents for bringing my brother and I here. Thankful for how hard they have worked and the life they have given us. After all the hardships of being an immigrant, I wouldn’t have want it any other way.
Aside from my forever “what ifs” one of the things I regret is not growing up with the rest of my family. It was always just my parents, my brother, and I for major holidays. Every Christmas was always a bit sad because we didn’t get to spend it with our family. It makes me sad that because I didn’t get to see them for years, I don’t have any memories of them. That is why I was never was a big “family” person, because my extended family was countries away. But thankfully now, I will be able to see them even if it’s after all these years.
Regardless of that, I’m happy about all the friends that I have made through through the years. Thankful that I met my husband here and thankful for my best friends since 8th grade.
When September 10th comes I’m sure the bag of mixed emotions will hit me like a train. I’ll probably cry and then be upset that my family was only a flight away. I always felt so nostalgic, it was so bad that I always kept songs that reminded me of Nicaragua in my iPod and they would always take me back. I’m sure I’ll be super dramatic and listen to those songs there.
So many emotions!! Argh! But aside from the emotional breakdown I will have, I’m also incredibly excited to be a tourist in my country. I will show Sam around and we will get to visit a new place together- our first international flight.
We will be in Managua (where I’m from, Granada and maybe Rivas.) I will be sharing lots of pictures and blogs about where we stayed. These days are flying by so quick and I am so not ready but ready at the same time haha. I am ready for a life-changing event (maybe I’m being extra dramatic), some vacation time and pigging out on tasty Nicaraguan food.
I think this is me when I was around 7-9? Not too sure.
Will keep you guys posted!